rambles

I go through spurts with blogging. I don't know why. I wish I were more consistent. I'm going to try, which I always say.

Callie has recently got me into couponing.... I know. It's nerdy, whatever i'm saving my family a TON and getting some nearly free stuff along the way!! You should check out http://www.frugallivingnw.com/ and www.hip2save.com both are pretty rad and you can even make money buying the things you would already need!! How neat.

This week I was super stoked because I went to Freddy's where they had a sale on 7th generation natural chlorine free diapers they are 50% combined with my $2 manufactures coupon (that you can print online) when you buy two and my rewards rebate. I only paid $3.31 for two packs of awesome diapers! Love it!


In other news Quinn and Deacon are awesome. I love being their mom. I am humbled on a daily basis by how awesome these kids are. Today Deacon was a pill but in all of his screaming and wiggle and crying, it was beautiful. What he wanted was to connect with his mommy and be loved and cuddled. That's all. It's so simple for children to find their comfort and so often I think i'm "too busy" to give it to him. I adore that child. Quinn is the single silliest, sweetest, and smartest kid i've ever known (yes, i do realized EVERYONE says this about their child... get off me she is.) Today she was terrified of the vacuum and she just clung to my chest petting my hair and whispering mama, only to get up when Auntie Callie was done and run around with no pants on giggling. She has such extreme emotions and moods, I can barely keep up but I love it. She also wanted to hang out with me while I was cleaning to so she sat on my shoulders, held onto my neck and snuggled my head while I ran around cleaning it was awesome!

Okay now it's time to stop rambling and go watch Modern Family with the love of my life!

peace. aj.

A million years?

Feels like it's been a million years since I posted here. Really it's only been two but who is counting? I was just reading back on my Africa blogs and it's crazy how far life has come in the last two years. James and I were talking about it after Josh's wedding this weekend, we can't seem to get our heads around the idea that Quinn will be 1 this week and we'll be meeting our son in just 5 weeks... how nuts is that?! Mean while we have my birthday and our anniversary snuggled in there somewhere.

Life couldn't be better really. James is the most fantastic partner in crime I could ever ask for. He loves his daughter and I so selflessly that I am humbled daily by his example. Quinn is about the most precious thing on the planet, and I get it, I'm her mom so I am biased....but she's still damn cute.

One thing that's driving me crazy however is how people always comment on how "chubby", "fat" or "big" she is... really people? She's a damn baby, let her be chubby, she's fine! Her pediatrician isn't concerned about her size so why on earth does everyone else comment on it? It's mostly James' side of the family. I guess they are used to skinny babies or something, and she's in the 90th percentile for her weight, and like over the 100th for her height. It's not like I feed her all carbs, fruit and juice... The kid only drinks water, eats green beans and peas like there is no tomorrow and moves around like a wild banshee... Enough of that rant... my bad.

We got to see Wes, Joanna, Skyla and Baby B this weekend, which was fantastic, B has more hair than I do i'm pretty sure. She's so beautiful, and Skyla was running around and talking... so weird to hear her use full sentences. The heat got to me however and apparently it showed cause I was asked multiple times by multiple people if I was okay, or mad. I wish I didn't look angry when i'm uncomfortable, but really guys it's like 90 degrees out there are no fans, we're outside and i'm 8 months pregnant a little slack please? I mean for the love! I can't walk around with a freaking plastered on smile when my kid is kicking me in the bladder, my other is sitting on my stomach and i'm outside with mosquito buzzing around! Frankly I could put up with all of that but what really annoyed me was the constant badgering about whether or not I was okay.

All that said, the wedding was beautiful and I did really enjoy myself contrary to popular belief. haha. Josh looked so happy, it was sweet to see him finally take his bride. Having known him for like 10 years now I know how badly he's wanted to be a husband and father. Pretty stoked to watch them on their journey.

Alright, time to get something done now. Quinn is sleeping and i'm NOT taking advantage of that!

bye mzungu

i will be boarding my plane in roughly 20 hours....that is such an odd realization. i am almost gone now. my time is up and i've said 98% of my goodbyes. last ones are my roomie emma, lee, estah, nantale and christine. i am getting picked up at 4:30 am tomorrow morning and heading to the airport. i'm nervous. i haven't felt nervous like this in a long time. this uneasy scary feeling about going home. i am so excited to see my family and james and gwenie and all the other people that will be there waiting with open arms...but part of me is literally terrified to leave all of these things i've come to know and understand as daily life. what an odd trip something like that is. having your life flipped upside down...getting comfortable and having it flipped right side up just a few months later. there is so much to process and so much to sift through. i am not ready for the reverse culture shock that i've been warned about so many times...but here we go. i'm coming home friends....

i'll see you tomorrow.... :0)

love you all. especially you james arthur


Love. Laugh. Look. Live.

amanda june

gumira mukukireza ne mukwagala

if you are looking at this posting you'll see plenty of pictures of my sweaty face, along side a beautiful Ugandan named Usha....

it's like usher...but gangster sounding

(mom and dad...he's a singer...and he dances like nobody's business...you wouldn't know him...and yes i intended to say gangster with an er...)

i bawled when i said goodbye to this little fella on saturday...

bawled...

i thought my eyes were going to be swollen shut...

he has touched my heart like nothing i've ever experienced...the second picture posted is from a different visit than the first one.

the first two times i went to see usha he wouldn't smile...

it wasn't until the last day of my second trip that i got him to smile.

i almost peed i was so excited.

by the third time i went (which was also my final time since he lives 4 hours away) he was smiling like he is in the 2nd picture. all the time. to see him smile is literally the greatest gift i've ever received (only second to the blessing the lord gave me in james).

teaching this beautiful little boy to play and laugh was so amazing.

i will never forget the way that he felt in my arms while he was giggling.

or the way he tried to kiss my cheek like i kissed his.

he is such a blessing...these pictures are a constant reminder of the beauty i have experienced in love.

i learned how to say something luganda because of him....it was this.....

Gumira mukukireza ne mukwagala

it means.
hold strong. have faith. believe in love.

if i were to sum up my trip for someone, it would be in that. when i got here i was shattered by the idea that i couldn't speak to these children completely because they didn't speak english. i am a talker, i always have been. frankly i'm alright at it. i have been blessed with being able to speak for myself and encourage others with my words.

if anything i talk too much.

i didn't believe i was going to be able to do one thing, for one child because of the language barrier.

i couldn't have been more wrong.

i learned a new language.

truth and love spoken only through action.

something we always talk about right?

it has been/was/is the most difficult thing i've ever done...

but the pay out?

look at that smile.

right now.

scroll down and look at it.

it is worth all of the sacrifice and struggle in the world.

and that is what this trip has been.

a new chapter of understanding and toil for the sake of christ.

as i'm coming to a close of this chapter i am seeing ahead to the next few years with true clarity of what Christ is demanding of me.

i can't wait to be a mother.

and a wife.

to the most amazing man i've ever met.

i can't wait to come home and love....just love people.

can we get back to the basics together?

just love.

love in the name of Jesus Christ

how beautiful that is.







I urge you to

Love. Laugh. Look. Live.

Always.

Amanda June

burudian refugees and beauty.

these are some pictures of some of my new pals...they are Burudian Refugees living in Uganda, they have started a drum troup and are rad. I've been to see them 2 times this week and I'm going agian tomorrow.

This is Ali, he is the leader and a rad kid, he drums dances and raps in swahili, he's my gangster.

ali again.

this is emma...emma is like 4'9'' he's a midget and can jump about as high as he is haha.

this is erik, erik thought i was in love with him because i was taking pictures of him....he was wrong. i told him i'm married...now he believes me.

this is liberat, he's rad and his arm is wounded from fighting in Burundi, so he is the manger for the troup. he takes really good care of us girls and says we're his very best friends. we love him.

this child was sitting on top of a hut that was covered in trashand finally...
this is my favorite picture i've taken since i've been here...this child was adorable.

Measure your life in love....

"Velvet Elvis:

Something Bigger.

I was in Rwanda a few years ago, and a group of us went hiking in the slums of Kigali with a woman named Pauline. Pauline spends her free time caring for people who are about to die of HIV/AIDS. She agreed to take us to visit one of her friends who had only hours to live. We hiked through this slum for what seemed like miles, and as we got farther in, the shacks became smaller and smaller until all we had to walk on were narrow trails with sewage crisscrossing in streams that ran beside, and sometimes under, the shacks.

Eventually we ended up in a dirt-floored, one-room shack about six-by-six feet. A woman was lying under so many blankets that all we could see was her mouth and eyes. Her name was Jacqueline. Pauline had become her friend and had been visiting her consistently for the past few months. As I knelt down beside her on the floor, I watched Pauline, standing in the corner, weeping. Her friend was going to die soon. What overwhelmed me wasn't the death or despair or poverty. What overwhelmed me was the compassion. In this dark place Pauline's love and compassion were simply...bigger. More. It is as if the smallest amount of light is infinitely more powerful than massive amounts of dark. The ground was holy."



If only I could articulate how much I desire to be that small glimmer of light when Rob Bell says:
"In this dark place Pauline's love and compassion were simply...bigger. More. It is as if the smallest amount of light is infinitely more powerful than massive amounts of dark. The ground was holy"

I want to yell at the top of my lungs "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE! THAT'S ALL I WANT" I want to show love to one person in a way that their heart is overwhelmed, and they see the beauty of life, love and Christ, even if for only a moment.

I can resonate today with this... Yesterday I did home visits to see the living conditions of my kids. to this little guys house..Joswa, if you want to see his shining smile look back a few blogs. He laid like that on my leg teary for most of the visit...he found out i'm leaving.. it was terrible

While there I told his family that James and I are going to sponsor him through school. Later in the visit I was made aware that he is HIV positive, something that nobody at Wolicami knew, especially not me. My heart shattered. I decided to walk around and take pictures of the house, my eyes were all welled up with tears. There I am, crying and taking pictures of a shack where 6 people sleep on two beds....in the midst of that, I took this picture and looked in the corner to see joswa making a goofy close mouthed smile.

I feel yet again like i'm about to break. My heart is in pieces and in that moment all I could do was sit on his bed and hug him...tell him i loved him and cry. The last thing I want to do, I want to run out of that house screaming and cursing this place. I want to pack my bags and head to the airport on the first flight back to normalcy. But rather God demands I dig in deeper and love more passionately. I am convinced that the only thing that will reach these people is unbridled love.
No limits.
No conditions.
No holding back.

But i'm tired. Do you ever get like that? Just tired of pain, despair, all of it. The first few weeks I was in, what volunteers refer to as, the "honeymoon stage". Things are rough, but seeing the smile of a kid wipes away the pain you just saw merely 30 seconds before. My mind has now moved past that, the resilience is beautiful and inspiring, don't get me wrong. However, death is still prevalent, poverty is still overwhelming and people are still lost.

I have found myself aching to be the glimmer of love. Just the smallest amount. I just want to touch one person. I can't wait to come home and, with a steadfast heart, continue to run hard after that goal.

"525,000 journeys to plan.
525,600 minutes.
How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?
In truths that she learned?
Or in times that he cried?
In the bridges he burned?
Or the way that she died?

You've got to remember the love...
Remember the love.
Remember the love.
Share love.
Give love.
Spread love.

Measure your life in love.
Measure your life in love."

Who would have thought RENT had it so right?

Pray for my strength and moral...my time is almost up and there is still so much left to learn.
Pray for my health....i'm really sick.

love you all

Love. Laugh. Look. Live.
amanda june.

Psalm 8:1-3

redemption

creation groans

creation reaches

if we are silent even the rocks will cry out to god

Psalm 8:2
"From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise"




i love you and miss you all. my time is almost up and there is still so much more to see...so much more to learn and so many more to love.

Love. Laugh. Look. Live.
Aj