lots of picture and too many words.

This is Mebbo, she is super sick and falls asleep in class often. I am taking her to be tested next week. She is adorable. Nap time :0)


This was on the road back from Namakuma...The drive in the bed of the truck to and from Namakuma is where I got my 2nd degree burn.
This is Joswa...he has quickly become my favorite kid in class...I want to bring him home. I think customs may frown upon it however.
This picture is for Millie, Marayah, Jody, Mary, and Mary Anne...the kids get a KICK out of it and generally throw it when they first push it haha.
This is a picture from an IDP camp in Kitgum. These huts were burnt down. This particular camp had not had an issue with the LRA in almost 3 months...however the huts have yet to be re-built.
This little tyke was from the IDP camp, he has no clothing, no real home and no food.

This is another little boy that is no more than 3 years old wandering half naked around an IDP camp in 105 degree heat with no water


These two pictures are us looking over the border into the Sudan. I took them for my mommy cause she is mildly obsessed with sunsets and the sky.
there you go mama.


NOW onto my actual blog...it's long...get ready

Some have asked what I’m learning….you asked for it…so here it is::

It is so easy to see suffering, to only set it back down or toss it in the back of your mind like a picture in a national geographic. I’m finding It is the opposite that Christ demands. He is demanding that we reach out, touch it, hold it, wipe the runny nose of the orphan, hug the crying widow, and feed the child with the pot belly from malnutrition. Rather in our nature we flee from the challenging, uncomfortable, awkward, truths that are everywhere else in the world. The complacency and comfort we Americans live in is so far removed from the reality of which the majority of the populous lives. Doesn’t that make you want to vomit, throw something, sell your car and move to the streets? Even that is illogical, as humans we believe that it is only by “drastic” “out of this world” movements that we can enact change. How arrogant are we? After seeing this poverty first hand, sometimes even tugging at my clothing asking for school fees, it is so apparent that the most tangible and real thing we can do is love the unlovely, not out of pity but genuine interest and appreciation. We have to set ourselves aside and love Christ first, others second and ourselves last. Imagine if we were all to truly put ourselves at the bottom, what Christ would do first and those in need as the focus.

What would happen?

I think we would all be shocked and unsure of what would be taking place, and how simple it is. It is beautiful, this mess we are trying to love and reach. In coming here the words “fix” “help” and “save” were firmly in my vocabulary as I talked about Uganda. Now upon being here, living, and seeing these people first hand God ripped those words from my vocab, slapped me upside the head and filled my mouth with a new song. One that is much more humbling and difficult.

The term “missionary” has come up countless times on, and before my trip. I am okay with that, I invite it fully, however I also feel like I’m fighting against the normal “mission work” stereo type. LIVING a true mission whether in Africa, or middle class suburbia is beautiful and honors our Lord of Lords deeply. I think most people can understand the stereo types and misconceptions I’m talking about.

Here is what I’m not doing, for the record:

I don’t have tracks in my back pocket ready to leave in the hands of all I see.

I am not staying in a different place than the people I’m serving.

I am not here to convert anyone.

Here is what I find I am doing:

I am trying to listen to their heartbreaking stories.

I am living in their community.

I am loving, touching, hugging and kissing kids that would otherwise not receive it.

I am attempting to meet the needs of these people on an earthly level.

I look in a mirror daily and have to choose to pick up the cross that frees us and bore our sins. In a place where you are treated like a celebrity you have to choose EVERYDAY not to be self righteous. They actually make it easy to believe you are pretty amazing here. Now It sounds like a simple choice, I don’t mean it to. It is the single most difficult decision I’ve ever made, along with everyone who chooses to live this way, and it has to be done everyday. There are so many days when I’m not properly prepared. I’m not ready, not able, not willing. Who isn’t? I speak from my own failure. I know that the statement “pick up the cross” is overused, I would be among the first to say so, here is more clearly what I mean. Anytime I attempt to explain Jesus to those who don’t know him, I find myself coming back to a few simple words (my own personal cliff notes of Jesus) “Well, he is the epitome of Love, Grace, Understanding and Humility” (not bad cliff notes if I do say so myself) So maybe a better terminology than “pick up the cross” would be “put on the character” I want to put on the character of Christ everyday. I want everyone to wake up and choose the fruits of the spirit and the character of my savior. I want the church to RADIATE Christ. If we are indwelled with the spirit why are we shouting about how much Jesus everyone needs? Why not whisper gently in the ear of a child, speak in kindness to the Muslim man, or listen with love to the hurting. Is that not what we are called to? I am finding the longer I sit and listen to myself and others around me I hear the same message. Wake up. Start living. More importantly start loving. I would be dead wrong if I said you could only live a mission for Christ in far off lands where poverty is all around you all the time. That is so far from truth, so please don’t mistake me. If you are comfortable and cozy in your home, you are only closing your eyes to the poverty, pain and lost in OUR nation. If you are living in a home with a car, you are richer than 98% of Uganda. So, granted a fact like that is hard to swallow. It burns and makes your heart ache. However there are thousands of homeless teens in Portland, but you don’t hear the stories often enough of people who move to Portland to do ministry downtown under the bridges because, let’s be honest, it’s not quite as “glamorous” sounding as “I’m moving to Africa to be a missionary” But those people need the love, grace and mercy of Christ as much as anyone else. I merely say all of this because I’ve been shown how ridiculous the accolades I receive sometimes are…I don’t deserve them. I’m human. I’m not god’s gift to this world (he already sent him once, I’m just supposed to look like him.

After being here my eyes have been opened to a lot of things. I didn’t choose Africa because I wanted the tearful goodbyes, and wonderful letters from my family (although they were beautiful). Those were some of the hardest moments of my life, reading and hugging and saying goodbye was terrible. I now see the validity of it all, it has given me strength and courage to “put on the character” rather than to take the easy way out. I am living and playing alongside the unlovely. It’s not easy, but I’m no martyr, they are teaching me more than I could begin to teach them. I am awake for the first time in my life. I am impassioned truly and frustrated thoroughly with who I am, and partially was. I am fighting to become the woman God intended but I recognize that is not a 3 month journey. To sum it up, there has been a change in my perspective. I’ve been gone from home a month and this much has changed? Man, our God sure has a sense of humor.

I am excited to come home and fight alongside you to get back the beauty of community, Christ, and the church.

Love. Laugh. Look. Live.

Amanda June